Caring for the elderly is a rewarding experience in many ways. The elderly are extremely vulnerable and need special attention. Their lives can be incredibly lonely and they suffer from a lot of pain. In such cases, a good caregiver can sometimes be their only companion and meet those needs in many ways. And one of the most rewarding benefits of caring for the elderly is the developed relationship.
As Christians, when we care for the elderly, we are fulfilling God's commandment. "Honor your parents." That's right. There are various ways to honor parents, but serving and caring for parents at the moment of dying is the best way to honor parents. We all know that aging is an inevitable part of life. However, it is difficult to face the reality that one day loved ones will get sick or frail and we will have to take a step back from our own lives to care for them. In a society that does not like to talk about aging or death, family caregivers who have to care for elderly family members quickly realize that they are not prepared for emotional, physical, financial, and environmental problems from the start of caregiving.
In the case of elderly patients, it is somewhat predictable, and in fact, many families finish discussions in advance. However, when a family member suddenly suffers an injury that makes it difficult to move, such as an accident or brain injury, their family's life changes 180 degrees. Family caregiving is challenging yet rewarding. I often meet many people among the saints I meet in church who want to be people who care for and support their loved ones. I think they are great and wonderful saints. However, if it is to do caregiving well and maintain one's own health and well-being, one must receive appropriate support with thorough preparation. Listen to what experienced caregivers say.
1. I Couldn't Do It Alone
Daily caregiving itself is impossible to sustain alone for a long time. Some caregiver families say, "It is very difficult to feed a person who cannot move and lives lying down. It takes an hour to make porridge and more than an hour to feed it. Caring for a patient requires tremendous strength." So caregivers need to know how to ask for help and support from others. Caregivers must value their own mental health and learn how to care for themselves as well as the patient. Experienced caregivers also learned through trial and error and became skilled caregivers. Their caregiving experiences or arguments need to be listened to. Caregiving is absolutely not done alone. People who are comforting and reliable when things are tough are often people in the same situation rather than family siblings. Find them and share your anxieties or worries. If possible, it is good to fellowship with believing Christian friends. Searching the internet can reveal friends to share help with. Referring to the testimonies or tips of senior caregivers can significantly reduce the burden of my caregiving life.
2. Prior Knowledge of Caregiving is Needed
Most families realize that a family member has fallen ill and there is no one else to take charge, so they quickly volunteer to care for them without hesitation. However, caregiving is never an easy task. Stress and burden can be greater if the caregiver is frail, unexpectedly forced to take on the caregiver role, or has to care for an uncooperative or belligerent patient. It can lead to accumulated anger, frustration, guilt, anxiety, stress, depression, and helplessness and fatigue. These feelings are sometimes called caregiver burnout. Burnout affects anyone at any time, but it is more so if the care recipient should not be left alone or shows disruptive behavior at night. So it is better to acquire caregiving knowledge in advance. There are many caregiving families who think easily as others do without knowing how difficult it is to receive social welfare benefits. To understand the heavy workload and emotional difficulties associated with being a full-time caregiver, one should have naturally received caregiver education.
3. There is No Caregiving Roadmap
Choosing to care for elderly parents is a rewarding and proud thing as a family. Caring for a family member suffering from a long-term illness is also undoubtedly a very valuable thing. However, caregiving lasts longer than expected in most cases. Many families do not have a caregiving roadmap to predict and prepare for the caregiving schedule. Especially elderly caregiving is not something that finishes in just a year or two no matter how short it is. Even if it is family, becoming a full-time dedicated caregiver is a major decision that shakes one's entire life pattern. Taking such an important decision lightly inflicts a fatal wound on the caregiver. One of the biggest difficulties when immersing in caregiving is that often the caregiver and the care recipient have different views on how long caregiving is needed. In the case of patients, they want caregiving for a long time. However, for the family providing care, such desires and their reality do not always match. Especially in the beginning, when becoming a sudden caregiver, you have to think and act instantaneously, call places where you can get help, and be the final decision maker in everything.
4. Financial Costs Are Huge Than Expected
Medical insurance does not fully cover home care. So caregiving costs that many families started unexpectedly can easily bankrupt a family in just a few years. Before starting caregiving, you must make a long-term plan while estimating the economic scale. There are many families who have fallen out while caregiving due to money problems. Disputes between siblings also have a high rate of occurring due to finances caused by caregiving. Failure to make a long-term care plan can cause major problems for the family and the person needing care. So along with advice from others in similar situations, caregivers must find resources to ensure a comfortable financial state. Caregivers say you shouldn't be afraid to speak up if you need help. The reality is that even if there are many family members, it is not uncommon for one or two people to bear most of the burden. So caregiving families should be able to ask other family members for help, and if not, push for the burden to be distributed. Finding appropriate ways to take a break and care for oneself to escape financial pressure is important for the caregiver.
5. Anyone Can Experience Dementia
Families with elderly parents often think, "Our parents are healthy, so there is no problem now. Of course, I think they will get dementia someday, but not right now." However, dementia can come to our parents much faster than other parents. Many families never think that both parents, or one of them, will use a wheelchair for mobility or live in a nursing home. Even when going to a nursing home facility, families are surprised that there are almost no nursing home staff trained in dementia to care for our parents with dementia. As the era of super-aging population has arrived, dementia patients have also increased rapidly. On the other hand, not many care workers caring for dementia patients have been produced. Dementia prevention is also needed, and caregiving skills to care for dementia patients must also be learned. Specialized medical institutions for dementia patients must be identified and prepared in advance.
6. Underestimated the Reality of Caregiving
Caregivers suffer the greatest pressure when they don't know who to turn to for correct information, feel angry, lonely, or unable to cope. The difference between the reality of dementia patients or elderly patients seen in the media and when it actually becomes my problem is huge. People speak easily to family caregivers caring for family. But they don't see the big picture. Unless you have experience, you have absolutely no idea that caregiving is hard and difficult, but blessings follow. The most painful time for a caregiver is when the person they are caring for is uncooperative or no longer recognizes them, or when they see a son or daughter and respond as husband or wife. Some people do not believe what the doctor says that their parents can never recover. They believe that their parents will recover soon because they are strong people, have thorough faith, and have strong wills. However, even young and healthy people fall easily. One of the family expects to get up after resting for a while, but in reality, caregiving life often lasts a long time. Families who think of caregiving easily suffer greater difficulties or pain due to caregiving problems. You should read books on the subject of caregiving, take courses, and listen to advice from surroundings.
7. You Need to Know Your Parents More
Many people don't know their parents well. Of course, parents don't know their children well either. However, what is most needed in the caregiving stage is to essentially know the parents' tendencies, hobbies, curiosity, favorite foods, human relationships, etc. to care for them effectively. Even children who have lived together for a long time confess that they didn't know their parents well only when it comes time to care for them. Understanding sick parents is the first step in caregiving. You must know your parents before starting caregiving. Parents' weight, food or hobbies parents like, behaviors parents dislike most. Knowing TV programs parents watch often and like, bankbooks or real estate parents have prepared, favorite snacks, church members parents contact often and get along with, etc. helps with caregiving.