The biggest difficulties facing those caring for family members lying in bed for a long time are social isolation and depression. Most family caregivers often prioritize the patient's demands or needs over their own. Society has also focused on care recipients, but recently, awareness has begun to arise that the mental health of family caregivers, who do physically and mentally very hard caregiving work, must also be cared for. There are reports that a significant number of caregivers develop depressive symptoms when they start caregiving. The younger the caregiver, the less social support or help they have, and the more they are unable to engage in social activities due to caregiving, the more the caregiver's depressive symptoms increased. The rate of developing depressive symptoms in guardians of severely ill patients is quite high. Understanding and empathizing with the patient's mind and caring for the patient like one's own body is the attitude of the best caregiver. However, caregivers often do not receive attention even if they suffer mentally and physically, so mild depressive symptoms that could be prevented in advance often develop into serious illnesses. Even those who care for patients need boundaries with patients and need to leave space for their own lives. If all life is tailored to the patient, guilt from other family members and oneself can be avoided, but when the patient disappears, one can feel extreme futility as if one's identity itself is shaken.
Sacrifices related to caregiving place a tremendous burden on even the most capable individuals. As a result, anger, anxiety, sadness, isolation, fatigue, and guilt about experiencing these emotions can take a heavy toll.
According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, "Caregivers have higher levels of stress and depression and lower levels of subjective well-being, physical health, and self-efficacy than non-caregivers." These differences in physical and mental health outcomes are particularly pronounced for those caring for dementia patients. Depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders do not limit caregiving or prevent caregiving work. However, if left untreated, long-term caregiving becomes difficult. Also, it cannot give positive caregiving effects to the patient. Above all, caregivers themselves must protect their mental health, check their depressive symptoms, and prevent them.
1. Reject Negative Thoughts
A type of psychotherapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) assumes that our own distorted thoughts, not external factors such as people, situations, and events, cause unhealthy emotions and behaviors. The premise is that even if our situation does not change, we have the ability to change the way we think, feel, and act. Through practice, more realistic and positive thinking can replace the negativity that contributes to depression and anxiety. Challenging negative concepts and restructuring thought patterns helps interpret the environment and oneself in a clearer and less biased way. For example, if you think "I am worthless," CBT examines this statement, determines if it is accurate, and encourages thoughts like "I am not worthless. I provide quality care to my loved ones and am a good person."
2. Rest When Your Body Screams Fatigue
Take a break from caregiving! No one can successfully dedicate themselves to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Take time to live your own life by getting regular help from family, friends, adult day care programs, home care companies, or senior living facilities. Use your free time while caring for your loved one to prioritize yourself and recharge. Participate in activities you enjoy, such as going to a movie or baseball game, gardening, exercising, attending church, or going to social events. Simple activities like reading a book, a long bath, or a good night's sleep can also help mental and physical health.
3. Find Supporters Around You
The idea that one family member takes care of a patient is dangerous. Family members should take turns caring, or have an outside caregiver on weekends, so that the caregiver does not fall into burnout. Caregivers often feel isolated from friends or family because their free time and energy for social activities are limited due to the patient they are caring for. Caregivers should not miss fellowship with others while caring for patients. If you feel depressed, you should be able to open up to a trusted friend or family member. If friends and family do not support you or cannot empathize with what you are going through, look for other counseling groups or gatherings of people in similar situations. Patient families tend to just endure the stress they receive while caregiving. You may feel guilty about becoming increasingly dissatisfied as you care for severely ill patients, but it is difficult to express this. You need an opportunity to meet family members or people in similar situations and talk about these complex feelings together. It can be a surprisingly effective experience.
4. Write Your Feelings on Paper
Keeping a diary about daily emotions can be a great release. Not only can you vent freely in a safe space, but you can also find patterns in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Do specific events, people, or situations increase stress levels or worsen caregiver depression symptoms? Repeating the same thing and expecting different results each time is bound to cause frustration and unhappiness. The next time you encounter a specific person or situation that triggers you, try to be aware of your emotions and behaviors. If you are responding in a way that has not been successful or healthy in the past, make a conscious effort to change your approach and overall outcome. Celebrate personal development through mood improvement and journaling.
5. Manage Tasks More Easily
Being unable to perform even simple daily tasks is often a symptom of severe depression. The feeling of being unable to make caregiving decisions or complete household chores can immobilize and be harmful to both the caregiver and the care recipient. To overcome low energy levels, lack of motivation, and indecisiveness, step back from responsibilities. Instead of being overwhelmed by everything you feel you have to do, set realistic goals. Break larger tasks into smaller steps, prioritize the most urgent responsibilities, and do your best. Even achieving just one or two things a day should be considered a success. If you need help seeing some of your duties for a while, find backup until you feel better. This allows you to focus on your mental health knowing your loved one is well cared for.
6. Stay Busy
Everyone experiences depression slightly differently, and some people get better when they have a personal project to focus on. Caregiving obviously requires a lot of effort, dedication, and time, so you may need to set aside resources for other things you actually enjoy. The fastest way to get out of your head is to get away from caregiving and participate in new endeavors like editing family photo albums, knitting blankets, volunteering, getting in shape, or taking online courses. Focusing your mind and energy on productive tasks is rewarding and makes it harder to dwell on negative emotions.
7. Get Professional Help
We all feel depressed at times, but recurring clinical depression is a serious mental health issue that requires professional help for diagnosis and treatment. It is not shameful to seek professional advice on how to deal with mood disorders. Consult your doctor about the symptoms you are experiencing to find a treatment plan that works for you. This may include being prescribed antidepressants, counseling, or both. Research suggests that nutritional deficiencies in Vitamin B, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, and certain minerals contribute to depressive symptoms. It is best to get the vitamins, nutrients, and minerals your body needs through a balanced diet, but sometimes supplementation is necessary. Pharmacies and stores also have other natural supplements that may be effective in treating depression. Consult your doctor about deficiency tests that can affect mental health and supplements for depression. Be patient and wait.
Expect depressive symptoms to improve gradually, not immediately. Depression is a serious condition and it takes time to feel better. Taking steps patiently to be kind to yourself during difficult times can help you feel a little better each day. Remember that you are not alone and there are mental health resources to help you and many resources for elderly family caregiving.